I woke up today forgetting who I really am, who I want to be and who I have been…I wish I could say it was the first time. Days like this one always make my head feel heavy and my heart even heavier. But these days no longer rule my life, my self worth or my value. Sure, they still show up. I might struggle with getting up, with showering, brushing my teeth and completing the usual morning routine that I have created over the years. I forget to find the beauty in the small parts of life, I forget all of the amazing things to be grateful for. I forget my reason ‘why’.
Just because these days may continue to randomly appear on any given day, I tell myself “hey, nobody’s perfect, so how could every day of our lives be perfect too?” But having a reason ‘why’ has helped me rid myself of weeks and even months of feeling numb. It has reminded me that we truly do only have one life, so why stay in bed all day, eating foods that don’t bring any value to me and why spend my time thinking life is miserable and not worth the trouble? I get it…it feels safer or easier this way sometimes. To block out the world and stay hidden, but I know deep down in my heart, that isn’t the way I want to live.
Everybody’s ‘why’ will be different. Yours could be because you want to create the best future for yourself, finally get that dream job of yours, to feel more valuable or to be valued. It could be all of these or even none of them. It is personal to you and you alone. My why? My reason to get out of bed everyday, to get dressed, eat well, exercise etc? It’s for future me. Everything I do today, every choice I make, is to cultivate and create a better life for myself, in a couple of days, a week, months, years…I know I will look back and thank myself every day.
I don’t know how many people can relate to this, but even if it is just one person, then I want to let you know that this isn’t the end. Some days will be slow, you will be tired, you will feel sad, unmotivated, but I promise you, you have the ability to feel better. I once heard someone say that you can always be better than the person you were yesterday, even the person you were this morning. This may sound harsh, but I think it is one of the most beautiful and encouraging statements a person could tell me. It has helped me to be a better person, a kinder person and has allowed me to continue to better my life.
If you do one thing today, for yourself tomorrow, ask yourself, “what is my reason why?” I promise you, this will be a turning point in making your life worth it.
I love you x
